So I read a past blog post asking for tips on what could make this blog better. So, I'll attempt to work on those. For one, I want to mention a thank you to Ryan for getting me back into this blog. I honestly just kept forgetting about it. But what I really need to do is write a post a day so that I can get in the habit of having a constant deadline. If I really wish to be an author, that's what I'll have to do. So, I might as well begin to acquire the skills I will need for my future. Am I wrong? I think my new year's resolution will be to write a post a day as well as a poem a day. Alas, that's not for another two months. But wow! It's only two!
My birthday is next week. It was supposed to be something I was to look forward to. However, this whole month I was supposed to have a blast! And, well, that didn't really happen. My boyfriend of nine months and I decided we should take a break. It could be from a total of two weeks to one month before we both make a solid decision whether this break is a good or bad thing for us.
Torn in Two
Voice intensely whispering
to me we're not what we used to be
But how do you forget,
the balancing act we regret
Could you reassure me what I'm doing is right?
Could you kiss my hand one last time?
Would it be wrong to leave?
and to feel relief?
I'm torn in two
What should I do?
Give me advice
that won't have a price
Show me we still have something
and that it won't be a fling
Give me something to love you for
Give me a reason to wait for more
Baby you've torn me in two
If only you knew, ooh
Baby you've torn me in two
What should we do?
I'm torn in two
What should I do?
Give me advice
that won't have a price
I'm torn in two
What should I do?
Give me advice
that won't have a price
Baby you've torn me in two, oooh
(Help me out)
What should I do?
(Ooh babe, pick up the pieces)
Give me a reason to love you
4 comments:
wow, what a beautiful piece of writing.
Wow, absolutely wonderful piece. Powerful, well written and emotional. through this sad time maybe great writing will come out of it. i hope to see a piece daily, but it's ok to not do it daily, remember quality over quantity.
So first I want to give the constructive criticism; I think the downfall of this piece is mainly in the fact that, as songwriting goes, this is very cliched and over done and while there is a lot of potential, which I'll go into in a second, for this to break through that cliche. Mainly I would have liked to see more done with the title of "torn apart" and maybe not being quite so human about it, what I mean is it is very easy when writing this kind of song to stick to the literal emotional impact (being torn up emotionally) while the more ambitious and more creative piece to read would take this on a metaphorical/analogical level. Maybe using the torn up theme in relation to paper or some other thing that can be torn in two.
The nice thing is that I like that as writers people are trying to make pieces that are about emotions and about this connection which artists like Kelly Clarkson, and god knows I like Kelly, have been downplaying almost to the point that she just puts out the same song every so often.
Kat, I remember a seminar on divorce. The facilitator took a piece of cloth and tore it in two. Then she took one of the halves, and tore that in two. She repeated that until she had a very small piece.
I like what you have written. It reminded me that while we may be torn in two, and in two, and in two, that we do heal, and we learn from our experience. And we go on because others hold our hands, literally and figuratively. In the meantime, we hurt.
God's blessings as you discern the next steps. And keep writing!
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